Reward Signals

Yesterday, I slept for like half of the day,
after I sat outside for awhile in the rain.
I can feel my life changing,
and there's nothing I can do or can say.

I'm not afraid to fall,
but I am afraid to sink.
I'm afraid of quicksand.
I'm afraid of making it worse when I can't stand.

But I squirm and I squirm.
I want to get free of these strange hands.
Brace myself,
but there's no impact.

Suspended, I'm not floating,
not loosening.
Between a rock and an ocean,
I'm choking
on my own friction.